As we wade deeper into adolescence with our two eldest children, a thought keeps creeping into my mind nagging at me everyday. Our son (14) is wonderfully independent, he uses the bus, he orga
nises his own social life, he has an active and creative passion in skateboarding which gets him off his phone and into the world and he’s having (what I think) are healthy first steps into romantic relationships. My fears about him being unsociable and shut inside on a screen all day everyday outweigh mostly everything else, but once they’re out in the world, you can only hope and cross your fingers you’ve done enough to seed strong values which will help make good choices or at least to bounce back ok when they inevitably don’t.
There is a list that circles my mind, looming over me like a nemesis that wants to take all the hard work and nurturing we’ve poured into these kids and pick at the seams. It’s the list of highly addictive, easily accessible things. Not just tempting, might just have a dabble things, but truly addictive, distracting things that are problematic for developed minds, let alone those in a volatile and rapid development stage. The more I learn about parenting teens, the more apparent it becomes to me that these things are not only accessible but often proactively targeted at them. My parenting voice and our children’s inner voice is competing with some very loud, shouty, bossy forces. The list on my mind, which is non exhaustive and could be extended, but is the one that is most relevant to us right now stands at this;
Vaping
Weed
Social media
Energy drinks
Alcohol
Ultra processed food
Porn
Violent content
Mobile gaming
These things are effortless to get hold of and surround our kids' lives. If they’re the main character in their own life, these are the stage settings and props that surround them. It’s natural for me to reflect back on my own risk taking. I imagine a lot of parents feel similar, I’d rather they didn’t do some of the things I did, but also accept they will and as long as the risk taken isn’t too extreme or life threatening it is all part of life to make our own boundaries and learn how to make decisions.
But it’s a lot.
A lot all at once.
Arguably, impossible to steer clear of any of it.
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