Practical ways to live more playfully.
Sometimes to get to the fun stuff, a load of boring practical stuff needs to happen first.
It always sounds great doesn’t it - get more joy! Have more fun! Improve your happiness! But I often find myself craving the really technical boring tips on exactly how that happens. My philosophy and area interest in playful living. Play is more than activity but a way of experiencing life. When you get more play into your life and when you work on your characteristic of playfulness life flows easier - that doesn’t mean all your problems go away, but it does mean you respond to them differently. You make different decisions, you have new ideas, you learn how to make boring things fun and how to navigate stress with perspective. You see things you never noticed before, you find the good.
But it takes a bit of organisation - literally and metaphorically. I could be perceived as having my head in the clouds, and I do very much like it there, but I’m a grounded Midlands gal who keeps things very real. I like to call myself a grounded big dreamer. My reality, a working mother of 3 kids, doesn’t prohibit my dreams and my need and desire to create and have fun, but I do surrender to the realities - and that is your first step in the process to playful living!
So here are my practical ideas on moving to life full of play and I’ll be the first one to say that they won’t work or be relevant to everyone, there’s endless nuance around our realities so simply take it as a bit of inspiration for you to get creative with figuring out where your play barriers might be.
Planned boredom
I am such a lover of a weekly schedule. I design each term carefully and it now includes who’s cooking when (recent update and feeling so adult right now). The kids have a mix of structured classes and unstructured free time. They each have a sleepover at their granny’s once a week (on their own, at their request because I respect their need for a break from the fam as much I need it!) I do short courses in the winter (I did expressionism last year and am doing screenwriting this year). We never do extra curricular stuff on weekends. They’ve never been involved in team sports as not their thing and I’m kind of relieved we always have that space! We try and have brekkie out and about on a saturday and a fire pit night. It’s busy but it’s not over crammed, I’ve experienced that before and it does take a while to try things out and figure out what’s right for your kids, but the main headline is when planning is to put a big highlight on the gaps for boredom and free play (preferably some non screen time in the mix!) otherwise it’s crazy how it just doesn’t happen.
A third space
If you’ve been here a little minute you may recall I said I was going to join a club. I did it and I love it so much I went back and paid for a year upfront on my credit card (not sure this is ideal financial advice tbh, lol) because if our situation changes this is something I never want to let go of. I feel like I have a space to breathe and write and think. Sometimes I go there on a friday night after Scout is down and I swim and relax and watch something on my laptop on the sofa. I wish I had done this many many years ago. But to some extent you can create a third space anywhere, prior to this I think I did this with our bedroom, I filled it with plants, gave it an ocean theme and it become my little lady cave. So wherever it is, whatever you’ve got, make yourself a little peace shrine.
Scheduled Adventure
An adventure can mean anything but for me I’m thinking of the following here - outdoors, physical, close to nature. I would like to have these everyday but they do take time. I mentioned in my last post about being frustrated by doing things in time drips. This is where I’m planning longer adventures - walking up a mountain. Biking the forest. The older kids are at an age when they want to do there own things with their mates every weekend and I respect that and they need it, but it’s our family values to adventure together so I have to put some in and give them advance warning when they’re coming up! Obviously they enjoy when there but again, it requires some planning and mental prep! I tend to do this one a quarter but whatever you works, it’s all good!
Opportunity goggles
I am never not looking for opportunities. This is the height of what happens when you engage with your playfulness! Pile of laundry? Great, I have a podcast to catch up on. Crap weather? Awesome, I can have a guilt free day inside doing not a lot. No food in the house? Chip shop dinner it is. Kid with a club? What’s nearby for me to do whilst I wait? Creativity is useful in everyday life, it’s not just arts and crafts and downtime. It’s really effective with the mundane. You don’t have to think and do what is expected or you’ve done before. Opportunities are everywhere you just have to see them as opportunities first and then move towards them!
A slush fund
We’ve always had a separate bank account for ‘fun’. We’re not regimented with how and when it gets topped up but once the bills have been paid we will put some in here. We use it for things like buying art (daily joy source!), holidays and trips or hosting a party for our friends. It’s sometimes empty it’s sometimes not. We probably could be more organised with it but it kind of seems to work out!
Meeting free work days
Many years ago I started using time blocking to do my diary and Ive never looked back. One of the barriers to play is distraction and wow how many things do we have to distract us?! So I time block chunks of time and try to avoid mutli tasking (I actually think the idea that women are good at multitasking sets us up to fail but maybe that’s a good post for another day?!) I always try to have a day in my working week that has no calls, no meetings, no emails. When I wake up and see my diary free of meetings and full of time to do my work uninterrupted I cannot tell you how much my heart sings!
Commitment to novelty
Life tends to work better for most people with routines and schedules. We’re adults and as I said I’m real and without these things with can go a bit awry. But living in a routine can make life feel grindy. Play and novelty are like naughty cousins. Novelty is a short cut to putting us in a more playful state and sparking our inner kid. And it doesn't matter what it is, it can be really small - like rocking out to a different genre on your commute might feel mischievous. Walking on top of a wall or jumping a puddle can bring out a smile. Working in a different space, reading about something you’re curious about that’s unrelated to the work or day ahead can feel delicious. Putting these everyday little bursts of novelty in our days is like feeding our playful furnace and keeps it lit up.
Dream doodles
Dreaming costs nothing, engages your imagination and gives you a feeling of escapism. The key to good dreaming is to do not from a place of desperation and to hold it lightly. I don’t tend to connect with the term manifesting because it feels too finite - these are the things you want and here’s the steps to getting them to come to you. I enjoy dreaming about things I don’t even expect or necessarily want to happen. I’ll dream about us locating somewhere new and thinking about that experience when I’m perfectly happy where I’m at. I’ll dream up new companies and ways of working that I don’t actually want to follow through on. BUT. All these dreams do make an imprint. They add up. The imagination is powerful, it smooshes them all together, stirs them up in a big mixing pot and makes you brain work in a way that considers your dreams. At least that’s how it happens for me! I write down my dreams. I sit in a big chair periodically, preferably outside with a notebook and just start making spider diagrams or notes about what the dream is. I hold it very lightly, it’s play time not planning. I do this whenever I feel the urge and find I feel so much clearer afterwards.
What works for you? Can you recognise any of the things you do that make space for play? Share with the community!
Looooved this! Felt myself nodding along!