Next year our 3rd (and final) child will begin school. <enter here ‘where did the time go, how did that happen Etc >. It’s never not a surprise that children really do grow. It gets me every-time.
I am thinking about this transition quite a bit. We won’t be having any more kids (sorry Ben) and as we’ve had Scout a little later in our lives, our set up is very different to when we become first time parents as is our knowledge and experience. I have no desire to homeschool any of our children and god love them they have specifically asked not to be, lol, I am feeling hesitant about letting go of ALL the time I spend with Scout whilst he’s so young. In England children start school very young, I don’t so much have any issues with him going to a regular ‘place’, I love school and nursery for socialisation opportunities, it’s more the early shift to formal academic learning, which is well evidenced goes against what children should be spending as much of their time doing for as long as possible - child-led free play.
Scout started nursery at 2 and has a brilliant experience there. We have been very lucky; the staff have been incredibly nurturing and he’s really thrived there. He’s always done Monday - Wednesday at his setting and then Thursday with Ben and Friday with me. It’s honestly been the best set for us all. In our previous life both Phoenix and Indy spent periods of time where they were full time nursery when Ben and I both had to work full time to try and pull our life in the direction we aspired to. I certainly don’t think it was ‘bad’ that they had to do that but my intuition did always feel a bit off at those long long wrap-around care days. Scout’s early years experience has been very different and I do find myself wishing they could have all had it, but life is life and you have to roll with it and they are well cared for happy kids with a rich life so retrospective guilt is wasted torture here, we move forward.
Scout’s nursery is also term time, which although is a massive ball ache in the summer with juggling work, it has meant we’ve taken advantage of our more recent flexible working arrangements and planned around that. We’ve been able to log off for some great chunks of time together which came together in our epic summer adventure this year. I do really feel that since Scout has been born (3 weeks before the first lock down!) and we have become a family of 5, and also since I have lightened my workload and team responsibilities and gone back to being an independent again, we’ve evolved into a very contemporary family life working and living flexibly. I am so grateful for this but also respectful to myself of how I made this happen. It’s something I have always dreamt about and want to continue to push the boundaries about how we live and work and find new ways to disentangle us from structures that don’t serve us and ensure we experience and achieve many of our dreams.
Those lockdown years have affected schooling in so many layered ways it’s difficult to know which issue to pick to talk about. I’ll focus on attendance and people’s willingness to spend all their time at work or school. As employers and employees continue to battle it out for remote working and 4 day week, it’s clear that there is a new line being drawn where people do not want to live to work but instead, work to live. I sometimes feel hesitant talking about this theme because as I know it’s not always “relatable”. There are so many factors from industry you work in to time available that go into discussions about living a more tailored and flexible life, but I am passionate about the evolution of modern living, that it becomes more flexible and responsive to what people need and desire. The point of reaching such incredible technological advancements should surely be that people become freed up to be able to live in ways that work for them and their family? I think we’ve reached a strange point in time where ideas and innovation have moved at lightning speed, but societal structures have not. There is severe friction; new world thinking and behaviour rub up against archaic structure. We have one foot in the future, but the other completely cemented in the past. We seem to be gaining the worst of what technological development brings - loneliness, addiction, polarisation and not getting enough of the good stuff - freed up time, reduction of mental load, meaningful connection. So I feel somewhat of a strange sense of obligation to share any alternative thoughts or ways of being relating to that parent/work/play sway. I know I can’t represent everyone, but change does have to ripple from somewhere, and I myself find it very valuable to have access to other families sharing how they’re doing life differently and feel compelled to add my story to the mix. In other words, I’m going to keep you posted on this one.
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