Morning friends,
I am writing to you from Sunday morning in my home. Scout is playing LEGO and Ben is regretting drinking last night, whilst I try and arrange my face so it’s not overtly smug. Alcohol has been one thing that’s had to go. Parenting a child like Scout doesn’t work with a hangover, which I can see Ben struggling with right now. Booze isn’t the only thing I’ve cleared out of my lifestyle cupboard, 2024 is in fact a spring cleaning year for me. It’s a time of stripping back and focussing. I have been in a freeing time of experimentation since Scout was born and am ready to make a stepo change from doing lots of things to getting real about what I really want. So this post comes bearing some updates on where that’s all heading. But first, a trip back in time.
I been thinking a lot about the pandemic recently. Likely because Scout’s birthday is just on the horizon. After giving birth, holding Scout in my arms and eating toast I realised everyone had eerily disappeared - it was so quiet. They were urgently being ‘fitted’ with protective gear and I suppose scrambling to understand the new protocols that came with them. When they came back in they looked different, smiles covered, eyes uncertain. When they offered an overnight stay it couldn’t have been more of a token gesture, practically shaking their heads whilst saying it was quiet and we welcome to take our time. We couldn’t get out of there quick enough. Lockdown was actioned a few days later.
Before this world changing disruption, throughout my entire pregnancy I knew I had to make some big life changes, that for whatever reason my current life wouldn’t work with the one that lay ahead. Intuition was strong on that one, I sometimes shudder at the thought of what might have happened if I hadn’t honoured it.
I have worked in the corporate world my whole career. It’s a strange place full of opportunity, inspirational ideas and people and also a lot of politics, unfairness and drama. The types of industries and roles I’ve worked in were unknown to me growing up. I never aspired to run a services business because I didn’t know what one was, I didn’t dream of running an agency because I didn’t know what they did, I didn’t think I’d ever have a business as I didn’t know anyone who’d done that. What I have experienced is this feeling of being pushed along by my creativity and visionary thinking which feel like they work faster than the rest of me. It’s like my roots are constantly trying to catch up with my shoots. That brings tension and a joyful mischief and freedom. More recently I’ve felt more of a balance between those two things and I have had to be very ballsy to get there, I have always been intimidated by own dreams and ideas, sometimes finding them obnoxious and entitled. Roots and shoots twisted and entangled. I feel the imposterness pretty much always, but rather than fight it I’ve learned to bring it into the team.
The corporate world feels like lots of people role playing as adults. The great big acting out of professionalism. I imagine this happens in other industries too (have you ever been to Kidzania? Yeah that). They use strange words and acronyms and everyone constantly pretends to know exactly what they’re doing even when they just want to stop the room and say, ‘what the actual f!ck is happening here, because personally I have no idea’. But for all its faults and weirdness, the corporate world provides good career opportunities, opportunities which many parents today who simply want their kids to grow-up and have a safe stable life where they can find love and joy and be free to be who they are, will be able to find that in there. And I've seen that with my own eyes, people entering their careers from all kinds of backgrounds and flourishing, many of us feel excited about working for businesses who shape and make culture. I’ve also seen people completely crash out with the lifestyle burn and others who’ve experienced a dousing of the passion that represents their true value they want to bring to the world outside of their role-playing professionalism. Me? I’ve felt it all. It was always in my story that I would need to plunge myself into the deepest depths of the mines of moria, to feel the burn before emerging with the beautiful gratitude that smoking a pipe with a friendly wizard neighbour whilst living in a hobbit house sounds absolutely perfect thankyou very much.
Smoking (and drinking) are out of season for me these days, though I do have a postman that really really looks like a wizard, and am continuing to enjoy the process of getting increasingly witchier (sound baths are my latest love, who knew my ears needed such a good bathing but apparently so). And here’s what I can’t stop chewing over from my hobbit hole.
I want to earn a living as a writer.
I want writing to be my full time job.
I want to learn and hone this craft.
I want to get so much better at writing.
I want to put words, stories and ideas into writing that change people. Move them. Prompt them to do something.
I want my name to be associated with this artform.
I’ve actually known this my whole life. It’s been in my heart from the never ending diaries I wrote as a child which were deliciously playful, yet this is the first time that I’m saying it out loud. And actively pursuing it. With focus and action.
I can think of many occasions when people have smiled at my dream of being a writer in a ‘that would be nice’ kind of way. In fact my whole life I can’t really recall anyone seriously encouraging me to be a writer. As in - I truly believe you can do this, how do we make that happen kind of way. I’ve written blogs, poems, short pieces of writing for people’s weddings, funerals, I am always selected to be a reader at events, I did great at creative writing at school, and my career has involved a lot of copy writing and storytelling, and yet not once has anyone ever said - you really should write something. Please.
Until I started chatting on Instagram.
Sharing my thoughts and ideas online is the first time that’s happened with any real seriousness. And whilst I could explore the fact we shouldn’t need external validation or encouragement to purpose our things, it just does have an impact. How powerful encouragement really is. It is a gift I will never stop giving out to anyone who needs it. Whilst people sent me messages casually on IG about wanting to read my words, they will never know the impact it had on me, it was deeply moving and awakened something in me, a gurgling purpose reawakening from where it had been drowned out and replaced with other fulfilling, yet less authentic dreams. It was a purpose I’d not properly given a try, written off as too hard, something for ‘other people’, not me. T
To publish a book, write a screenplay and develop other forms of storytelling, all of which I believe I have within me is what I am starting to get real about and my first step in doing this has been to get some new glasses. Just kidding, that was a coincidence - or was it?! My first move is to get my substack sh!t together. I’ve been bouncing around these parts somewhat erratically and want to thank you all for subscribing, commenting and sharing my work. I’ve been experimenting and I think I know what I want to do with space now. So with this 2024 shedding and focus energy, here I am announcing the specifics of what you will be seeing here.
I am about to become a regular writer with a grown-up writing schedule and I couldn’t be more thrilled. Nothing has ever fallen into my lap, not even the exact encouragement I’ve needed and I’ll honest the proactiveness is exhausting I find myself sometimes wondering when I’ll hit that point where stuff just flows to me, I’ve never found that, I always have to push and it’s time for the pushing to start again.
This publication has been renamed Notes from the Playful Den, written by me, Emma Worrollo and will explore a mix of complimentary themes I am interested in personally and professionally. Plus a bit of room for spontaneity too, because, it wouldn’t be playful without that right?
My subscriber price is low at £3.50 a month (£26 a year) and I’m choosing to trust my gut plumping for accessible and going after volume, versus going premium and exclusive. Below is exactly what to expect, I really hope you enjoy the ride.
Paid subscriber only
People Who Play - weekly podcast with my husband Ben where we chat about playful parenting, marriage, pop culture and adulting. This drops every Wednesday.
Raising Alpha - written series about the unique challenges (and opportunities) of parenting the Alpha Generation (under 14s). My research career has centered on exploring this generation and I will share insights blended with opinions and ideas on a range of topics which speak to childhood in contemporary culture. This will drop on the first Monday of the month.
Live playfully - this will be a place for me to share my expertise on play both for kids and adults. I might set you challenges, share some play science with the aim of getting you to think differently about play. These posts will drop in the middle of the month.
Free subscribers
Playful Picks - once a month I will share my curated list of things I’ve spotted and am enjoying. I love product design, content that sparks my imagination and have a passion for surrounding ourselves with things we truly love, not just what’s trending. If you love my style and inspiration sparks then this will be a treasure trove of ideas and might inspire you to do the same. These will drop last Monday of the month.
EXTRA! - these will be additional pieces of writing about anything that takes my fancy. Personal pieces about life, career, play and creativity. These will drop when they come in between regular posts.
Good for you I really enjoy reading your work and hearing you pods. X
Can't wait to follow along Emma! Thank you for sharing your voice and encouraging others to find their own xx