Flipping intimidation into inspiration
When the things we really want seem impossible and scary, getting inspired can lead to some unexpected places
I went to a children’s party this weekend. A weird thing about having a massive age gap between kids, is how confusing it is to be back doing all these early years things, it’s like I’ve looped right back to things I’d completely forgotten about, it really is the most bizarre thing. It was a lovely party, Scout and I had a great time, sidenote, I bloody LOVE a morning party, I think they work so well.
Anyway, will I ever to get to the point of this post?! This is what happens when I write on Sunday evenings, all chatter and endless sidenotes.
I had a conversation with another parent at the party, who had been to the ‘swimming lesson watch’ earlier in the week at school. I wasn’t able to make it due to work but Ben went and I swim with Scout all the time was happy to sit this one out! I hadn’t really thought much about it but she was really blown away by Scout’s swimming and told me how amazed she was at how he could swim underwater so confidently. She then went onto say watching him inspired her to do more with her child and made her think about how if she worked a bit more with her in the pool she’d be able to take her snorkelling. It was really sweet but it seemed like watching Scout in action had really fired her up, her eyes really lit up at this thought of taking a little one snorkelling and it made me want to help get her to get there! I shared some swimming experiences and we discussed about supporting kids to be confident in the water whilst also having a ‘healthy fear’. It was a brief moment but a really nice conversation. I mean you know me - love me a swimming chat (and a piece of cake).
Over the weekend I have found myself coming back to this chat and I wondered why (aside from stroking my ego about my mermaid child). It wasn’t a particularly remarkable conversation and yet somehow it stood out to me. I eventually clocked what it was that made it unusual. This person had seen something in another child and rather than being intimidated which I feel is a more typical response or shamed or evoking extreme comparison, they had in fact been…inspired and this is how they were expressing themselves through the lens of inspiration which in turn completely changed the energy and direction of the conversation.
What I have experienced more typically in the past in similar situations (and possibly in another life chapter may have even behaved this way myself), is that the parent makes an observation and takes a defeatist, critical stance usually put back on themselves as a criticism. Perhaps they might have said ‘I feel so bad as I hate taking them swimming’ or ‘you put us all to shame’. As the person in the conversation receiving that tone of observation I can safely report, there’s very little space to move. It was interesting for me to think about how we (or at least I as I shouldn’t speak for everyone!) are less likely to open up the floodgates of support and help and instead perhaps be more coy, sympathetic, divert attention to another topic - essentially becoming more closed and even - a gatekeeper of knowledge.
This made me think a lot about how when I am next in a situation where I’m intimidated by something that is reflection of something I would like to achieve to relook through the inspiration lens. And hence the point of this post. In certain situations I think these two feelings might be closer than we realise and perhaps if we adjust the way we share our observations and approach to the person we feel that intimidation to we might find ourselves moving closer to what we want to get at with some surprising new forms of help.
I now feel very invested in this person’s snorkelling trip. They’ll probably regret ever chatting to me over cake now, hahaha.
Sidenote - obsessed with my new snazzy trousers (pictured above). They’re Adidas x Stella McCartney and currently in the sale. They provide absolutely zero protection from the warmth FYI (is it spring yet!?). This has absoutely nothing to do with this post.
The End.